It's Been Two Years… How?! What I've Learned About ADHD in Women
Two years ago, I went out on my own and opened Insight Mental Health Services, an ADHD-affirming therapy practice for individuals and families in New Jersey and Pennsylvania. What a two years it has been. There have been lessons, challenges, and so many proud moments.
How We Got Here
When I first opened my practice, I told myself all I wanted was to make enough to get by. Maybe I didn't need to do anything bigger than that.
That mindset lasted about six months. I started to see that I could do more than I was doing, and that I didn't need to be part of a corporation to create real change. And it all started with one important moment.
The Moment I Recognized ADHD in Women (and in Myself)
About a year and a half ago, I was reading an ADHD magazine and came across an article about women and ADHD. I was floored. The list of signs read like a description of so many of the girls and women I sat with every week:
difficulty with emotional regulation
struggles with friendships
feeling underwhelmed
trouble organizing and prioritizing
and most importantly, masking
Two things happened that day.
First, a pattern I kept seeing in my work finally made sense. So often I had the feeling that what was in front of me couldn't possibly be just anxiety or depression. That hunch may have been right all along.
Second, I realized that I, without a doubt, had undiagnosed ADHD.
Why ADHD in Women Is So Often Missed
Since that day, I've had a very clear sense of where my work was going. It opened up a whole world of research for me. I began working toward my ADHD-CCSP (ADHD Certified Clinical Services Provider) certification and focused most of my continuing education hours on ADHD. It deserved that focus, because I saw how misunderstood this diagnosis is.
ADHD, Big Emotions, and Misdiagnosis
One of my biggest "oh wow" moments came from research on emotional dysregulation. A 2016 study in the Journal of Affective Disorders compared adults with ADHD to adults with bipolar disorder and found that the ADHD group reported even higher emotional intensity than the bipolar group.
In simple terms, big, fast, overwhelming feelings are a core part of ADHD for many people. Yet emotions aren't even part of the official diagnostic criteria.
I saw the injustice in that, and it upset, frustrated, and worried me. Because just like me, there were girls and women out there thinking:
"What the hell is wrong with me?"
"Why can't I get it?"
"Why am I SO emotional when no one else seems to be?"
Some of them were being diagnosed with a mood disorder, or even a personality disorder, while the ADHD underneath, a neurodevelopmental condition, went unnamed.
I love how much attention ADHD has been getting lately, because there is still so much to learn and research. Parts of how we diagnose it still need to be revamped. (DSM… looking at you.)
What Our Second Year Brought
So many amazing things happened this year. I:
Published a Teen ADHD Executive Functioning Workbook
Partnered with Flown, a body doubling program that supports people with ADHD without taking advantage of them [link: Flown affiliate]
Went on The Donna Drake Show to talk about ADHD as a diagnosis [link: Donna Drake segment post]
Connected with so many women navigating this experience
And most importantly, started a support group for women with ADHD [link: support group page]
What's Next for Insight Mental Health Services
My hope is to keep focusing on girls and women with ADHD, no matter their age, and to keep building a community for women with ADHD. We need support. We need to support each other. And we need clear, accurate education to stay at the forefront.
I also want people to understand that ADHD is lifelong, and there is no quick fix. Progress means making small, real changes, even when they feel painful in the beginning.
I want to acknowledge how privileged I am to be able to do this work. Trust means the world to me. Having the trust of a reader, a client, a parent, or a fellow professional is something I never take lightly.
Here's to the next year. I hope you stick around.
Stay Connected
Want ADHD tools, workshop dates, and resources for women and families in your inbox? Join the email list [link: email sign-up].
Looking for community? Learn more about the Women's ADHD Support Group, which meets Tuesday evenings at 7pm ET [link: support group page].
Frequently Asked Questions About ADHD in Women
Can ADHD in women look like anxiety or depression?
Yes. Many women with ADHD also experience anxiety or low mood, often after years of masking and overcompensating. When only the anxiety or depression is treated, the ADHD underneath can be missed. A thorough evaluation looks at the whole picture.
What is ADHD masking?
Masking means hiding or compensating for ADHD traits in order to fit in, for example by over-preparing, people-pleasing, or working twice as hard to look "fine." It's exhausting, and it's one of the main reasons ADHD in girls and women goes unrecognized for so long.
Is ADHD lifelong?
Yes. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that continues into adulthood, though how it shows up can change over time. Support focuses on understanding your brain and building tools that fit your life.
Where can I find ADHD support for women in New Jersey or Pennsylvania?
Insight Mental Health Services offers ADHD-affirming individual and family therapy in New Jersey and Pennsylvania, a support group for women with ADHD, and online workshops and webinars. [link: contact / services page]
This post is general educational content and is not a substitute for individualized mental health care.
