There is a specific kind of teen girl I think of when I think about ADHD masking. She gets decent grades. Her teachers describe her as sweet, quiet and “a pleasure to have in class.” Her friends think she has it all together. But underneath it all, she is exhausted, overwhelmed and has no idea why everything feels so much harder for her than it does for everyone else.
For a long time, girls like her were told they had anxiety. Or depression. Or that they were “just going through a phase.” Sometimes that is true. But more often than we would like to admit, what we are looking at is a teen girl with ADHD who has gotten really, really good at hiding it. That is what we call masking, and it is one of the biggest reasons ADHD in girls goes unnoticed.
Key takeaways
ADHD masking is when a girl hides or works around her ADHD traits so she can blend in. Often she does not realize she is doing it.
Girls with ADHD tend to show quieter, inattentive symptoms, so their ADHD is easier to miss or mistake for anxiety or depression.
Good grades do not rule out ADHD.
Masking has a real cost. More camouflaging is linked to higher anxiety and depression in girls as young as 11.
Small changes help, starting with noticing the after-school crash and asking for a full evaluation.
What is ADHD masking?
ADHD masking (you will also see it called camouflaging) is the work of hiding the parts of yourself that get you corrected, teased or judged, so that you blend in. Sometimes a girl knows she is doing it. A lot of the time, she does not.
The three parts of camouflaging
A 2024 study by McKinney and colleagues in JCPP Advances looked at 119 girls between 11 and 14 years old. Some were neurodivergent (ADHD, autism and/or dyspraxia) and some were not. The study was co-designed with neurodivergent adult women, who named camouflaging as the single most important topic to study for teen girls. The researchers looked at three parts of camouflaging:
Masking: hiding behaviors that might be seen as socially off.
Compensation: copying peers and using workarounds to get through social situations.
Assimilation: the constant feeling of pretending, of acting a part just to fit in.
Most girls masked and compensated to some degree. Where neurodivergent girls stood apart was assimilation, that exhausting sense of performing. Older girls also camouflaged more than younger girls, which suggests this grows as social pressure grows. By the time a girl hits middle school, the mask can start to feel like her face.
Signs your teen daughter may be masking ADHD
Masking looks different for every girl, but these are patterns I see often:
She holds it together all day, then melts down or shuts down once she gets home (sometimes called after-school restraint collapse).
Homework takes her much longer than it should, or she stays up late to keep up.
She is a perfectionist or a people-pleaser, and small mistakes feel huge to her.
She mirrors how her friends talk, dress or react, and seems unsure of what she likes.
She rehearses conversations ahead of time or replays them for hours afterward.
Teachers say she is doing fine, but she tells you she feels behind, scattered or “too much.”
None of these on their own means ADHD. Together, they are a good reason to look a little closer.
Why ADHD in girls gets missed
When most people picture ADHD, they picture a little boy bouncing off the walls. Girls often look different. Quinn and Madhoo’s review in The Primary Care Companion for CNS Disorders found that girls with ADHD tend to show more inattentive and internalizing symptoms, and that they may develop coping strategies that mask or soften how their ADHD shows up.
When ADHD hides behind anxiety or depression
The same review points out something I see constantly: when anxiety or depression show up alongside ADHD, the ADHD can get blamed on the anxiety or depression and missed entirely. Good grades do not rule it out either. Looking like you are functioning is not the same as functioning.
The pressure to be quiet, focused and easy
Then there are the expectations. In a 2025 study in Frontiers in Psychology, Grimell, Ericson and Frick interviewed teen girls with ADHD about school. The girls described a constant tug-of-war between who they were and who they felt they were supposed to be, which often came down to being quiet, focused and socially easy. To close that gap, they adjusted and suppressed their behavior all day long. Some of them were left asking which version of themselves was the real one.
That question hit me hard, because I asked it too.
The hidden cost of masking ADHD
Masking works well, almost a bit too well. It gets a girl through the school day, the group chat, the sleepover. But it is not free.
In the McKinney study, higher camouflaging scores strongly predicted higher anxiety and depression scores, and this was already true for girls as young as 11. Studies of adult women point the same way. A 2024 study of women with ADHD by Wicherkiewicz and colleagues in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders found that more camouflaging was linked to lower life satisfaction and more depressive symptoms.
When ADHD in girls goes unrecognized and unsupported, the stakes get higher. Hinshaw and colleagues followed girls diagnosed with ADHD in childhood for ten years, into ages 17 to 24. Published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, the study found those young women continued to struggle across many areas of life and had higher rates of self-injury and suicide attempts than their peers, especially those with the combined presentation.
I share that last part carefully, and not to scare anyone. I share it because I spent years on the NJ Hopeline, and I know how much early support matters. A girl who feels exhausted from pretending is telling us something important, and she deserves to be heard the first time.
How parents can help a teen girl who masks
There is no quick fix here, but there are small, real changes that add up.
Watch for the after-school crash. If your daughter holds it together all day and falls apart the minute she walks in the door, pay attention to that. It often means she spent the whole day performing.
Ask for a comprehensive evaluation. Make sure the clinician looks at her full history and asks about ADHD, even if she has already been diagnosed with anxiety or depression.
Compare her to other girls, not to boys. A girl with ADHD may look “fine” next to a hyperactive classmate and still be struggling a lot.
For teens: taking off the mask, little by little
Notice when you are performing. Which places or people make you feel like you have to act? Which ones let you breathe?
Find your people. Being around others who get it makes it so much easier to take the mask off, even a little.
Say it out loud. “I’m so tired of pretending I’m one person when I’m not that person” is a completely valid thing to bring to a parent, a school counselor or a therapist.
If keeping up with school feels like a daily fight, the Teen Executive Functioning Workbook has tools built for how your brain works. [Link: Teen Executive Functioning Workbook]
You deserve to be seen as the real you
I want every teen girl reading this to know that the version of you that forgets things, talks fast, feels everything at full volume and gets lost in what you love is not something to hide. You deserve support that fits the real you, and to be seen as the real you.
If you are a parent and any of this sounds familiar, please reach out. I offer ADHD-affirming therapy for teens and families in Hillsborough, NJ and by telehealth across New Jersey and Pennsylvania. This is the work I love most, and I would be honored to help your family figure out what is really going on. [Button: Book a consultation → contact page]
Want more on ADHD in girls and women? Join the email list for new posts, tools and upcoming webinars. [Email sign-up block]
If you or your teen are struggling or having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline any time.
Frequently asked questions about ADHD masking in teen girls
What does ADHD masking look like in teen girls?
It often looks like a girl who seems fine at school: quiet, polite and keeping up. Behind that, she may be working much harder than her peers, copying others socially and then crashing at home from the effort.
Why is ADHD harder to spot in girls?
Girls with ADHD more often show inattentive and internalizing symptoms instead of obvious hyperactivity, and many develop coping strategies that hide their struggles. ADHD can also be missed when anxiety or depression are present.
Can a teen girl get good grades and still have ADHD?
Yes. Good grades do not rule out ADHD. Many girls keep their grades up by masking, which can cost them a lot of energy, sleep and emotional bandwidth.
Is masking the same as being fake?
No. Masking is usually a way to stay safe and fit in, and many girls do it without realizing. The goal is not to shame the mask but to make room for her to need it less.
Should my daughter be evaluated for ADHD if she already has an anxiety diagnosis?
It can be worth asking. ADHD can be overlooked when anxiety or depression are also present, so make sure the clinician looks at her full history and asks about ADHD too.
About the author.
Aleksandra Kordal, LCSW, LPC, is the founder of Insight Mental Health Services in Hillsborough, NJ, and a Certified Nurtured Heart Approach Trainer. Specializes in ADHD-affirming therapy for girls, teens, women and families across New Jersey and Pennsylvania. [Link: About page]
References
Grimell, J., Ericson, M., & Frick, M. A. (2025). Identity work among girls with ADHD: Struggling with Me and I, impression management, and social camouflaging in school. Frontiers in Psychology, 16, 1591135. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2025.1591135
Hinshaw, S. P., Owens, E. B., Zalecki, C., Huggins, S. P., Montenegro-Nevado, A. J., Schrodek, E., & Swanson, E. N. (2012). Prospective follow-up of girls with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder into early adulthood: Continuing impairment includes elevated risk for suicide attempts and self-injury. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 80(6), 1041–1051. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3543865
McKinney, A., et al. (2024). Camouflaging in neurodivergent and neurotypical girls at the transition to adolescence and its relationship to mental health: A participatory methods research study. JCPP Advances. https://doi.org/10.1002/jcv2.12294
Quinn, P. O., & Madhoo, M. (2014). A review of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in women and girls: Uncovering this hidden diagnosis. The Primary Care Companion for CNS Disorders, 16(3). https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4195638
Wicherkiewicz, et al. (2024). Relations between social camouflaging, life satisfaction, and depression among Polish women with ADHD. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders. [Add full author list, volume/pages and DOI]
